My button's bigger than your button
Mon, 15/01/2018 - 03:33
Publication:
The war of words between Rocket Man Kim of North Korea and Orange Rug Man Trump of the USA escalated recently when Kim said "I've got the nuclear button on my desk" and Trump responded "I've got a button on my desk and my button's bigger than your button" (or some wording similar to this). It was all a bit of a giggle until Hawaii hit its own button and sent out across the whole GSM network messages to every mobile phone user telling them an attack was imminent and screaming "This is not a drill." We listened into the back channel between The White House and whatever house Kim is in. This is the conversation that never happened.
PoTUS TRUMP "Hey, Rocket Man. How's it going over there in NoKo land. You commies got enough food to prevent another famine?"
NoKo Supreme Leader KIM "I'm good Copper Head. And yes, we've plenty of food. Your sanctions can't starve us out."
PoTUS: "the whole world had a giggle about the "my button's bigger than your button," thing. Let's leave it a few weeks and come up with something else. While they are laughing at that, they aren't protesting against either of us, right?"
NoKoSL: "That's true, although people who laugh at me or protest usually only do it once. "
PoTUS: "Ah, there are times I envy you there. I mean, how long can I get away with telling the world that my inner circle were never that close to me? It's becoming boring but I've nothing else to say."
NoKoSL: "you'll come up with something. After all, you are a genius."
PoTUS: "Thank you for that. Sometimes I feel a bit isolated. I mean, I've even cancelled my trip to London because it was clear that the Queen didn't want me at her table but protocol said she couldn't tell me no. I need somewhere to go for a break, somewhere different."
NoKoSL: "Hawaii? I hear it's nice at this time of year."
PoTUS: "Oh, God. Hawaii. I mean, who the hell presses the big red button by accident? "Oh, it was an error on handover," they said. I have the nuclear football, it's handed from President to President but several times a day, it's handed from aide to aide. No one ever says "oops, sorry. I pressed the button when I handed it to my friend.."
NoKoSL: "Yes, I laughed at that. You could come and visit me. You can sit on one of my missiles. No doubt it's been a long time since you had something long and hard between your legs."
Disclaimer:
Conversazioni Fittizie is satire. That means it's not true. It is comedic writing with an edge. But it's not true. So, because we make that clear, we cannot be sued for libel. If you read our material anywhere else on the web, it has been copied without our consent. We specifically deny any right to reproduce our material for any purpose whatsoever, including in the USA where people steal all kinds of stuff, then put a note on it saying something like "I don't own this - I'm just posting it for education and/or research purposes. Well, screw that: this is pure entertainment. No education or research value here. If you want to copy our content, do a syndication deal and pay for it. People who illegally copy and republish our material are criminals. Further, this is satire. If you believe it you're an idiot and should not be allowed near deep water, traffic or a computer. Nothing in the above article is true. The conversation did not happen. At all. Ever. Is that clear?