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Motorsport

Yes, I know it's Wednesday. Yes, I know I'm supposed to write a race report on Sunday night or Monday morning. But it's hard to do that when there wasn't actually a race. The Spanish Grand Prix 2013 was like a NASCAR race with corners and no crashes. At least it didn't last 500 laps.

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Pirelli made a good decision for the Bahrain race: take two tyre compounds that are very similar. That negated pretty much all the pit-lane decisions that have led to what basically amounts to racing by remote control. But all was not rosy.

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Some say that Mark Webber is the unluckiest man in F1. That's wrong: he's one of the unluckiest men in any sport. But it's also true that one makes one's own luck.

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It's not the fault of the track and it's not the fault of the Formula One teams. For sure, it's not the fault of the drivers. The 2013 Chinese Grand Prix in Shanghai proved for once and for all that the tyres dictate the strategy and - even more ridiculously - the racing. If you thought team orders affect who races who, you need to hear the pit-to-car radios in the Shanghai race. And dust off that Scalextric that's been hibernating in the attic.

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The Qatar MotoGP race launched the 2013 season, the entry to the senior class of double champion Marc Marquez, a new qualifying format - and proof that Valentino Rossi plans on winning a record 10th World Championship.

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The official word from Red Bull Racing is that Sebastian Vettel and Mark Webber have "settled" the issue that arose when Vettel ignored team orders in Malaysia and took away Webber's victory. But as always, the devil is in the detail.

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The most fun of the weekend in Malaysia was not the (rather sad) race weekend concert but when Lewis Hamilton forgot that he's changed teams and is now driving for Mercedes. The McLaren pit crew who watched him pull in between the lines - with tyres ready - waited patiently while he worked out his error and set off for his own box further down the pit lane. No one else had anything to smile about, including eventual winner, Vettel. He broke team orders to stay behind Webber but says "you know I’m not sorry to win."

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Melbourne: the autumn leaves, the winter rain, the summer sun and a spring in the step of all in Formula One as they arrive for the start of the new season. Then it all went rather weird and it's difficult to feel ultra-pleased with Kimi Raikkonen's win in his Lotus branded Renault which is a shame because a win's a win, isn't it?

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Given Ferrari's history of stress-testing and even breaking the rules, often with the support of stewards and the FIA, it's a bit rich that they asked the FIA to review the stewards' decision over a pass by Sebastian Vettel on Verne in the Brazilian Grand Prix.

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How do they do that? It's usual for motor racing circuits to have a micro-climate and no one has ever been able to understand why it is so. But when MotoGP reported from Sepang that "the track was dry by 11:30" yesterday, Kuala Lumpur city centre, just 40 km away was settling in for heavy rain that brought city traffic to a standstill.

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