Dear Uncle Bert and Auntie Gert: to migrate or not to migrate

My husband and I are in our mid 40s with two children. We moved from one country to another for economic reasons and after some years my husband thought it would be better for our children to grow up in a bigger, more diverse country. So I gave up my well paid job and we moved. But neither of us can find work in our new country. Our resources are dwindling. I don't know what to do.

Gert says:

There are no easy solutions but there is one that is by far easier than the others. You should go back to where you came from and get a job like the one you had before. These days cheap air fares mean you can visit your family every couple of weeks. That way you'll have an income until your husband finds a job. And, of course you can look for a job in your new country as well. And using this arrangement, your husband can look after the kids so you don't need a nanny, for example.

For anyone else thinking of doing the same, don't be stupid. Don't just up sticks and move across oceans or continents without having at least part of your financial position sorted out.

Bert says:

This was a bad plan from the outset. It demonstrates a fundamental lack of planning. Gert is right. You should backtrack, fix the employment problem in one country then in the other. I know some people might say "you're the woman, you must do as your husband says" but that's bollocks. It doesn't matter who earns the money so long as someone does.

I'm in a quandary: to feel sorry for the situation you find yourselves in or to say it serves you right for not thinking it through properly.

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