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RIZWAN HUSSAIN has been jailed in the Central London Country Court (a court of first instance) by HH Lethem, J. Hussain has squirmed, wriggled and lied so as to remain in a flat he rented in South West London.

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It's not a Trojan Horse, it's not a dolphin with a limpet mine attached to its back and it's not a rat with a lighted stick of dynamite taped onto its back running into its own oblivion. No, it's cat, coolly walking into a prison, through the main gate, with hacksaw blades, a mobile phone and other contraband held on with clear sticky tape. A break-out Kit-e-Kat (say that in mock Portuspanish and it kind of works)

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